Fighting a Fever and Battling the Beast

AFF Newsletter on Substack #51

Welcome to the AFF Newsletter on Substack.

I'm currently suffering from a high fever, so I've been unable to stick to my usual writing schedule. That bums me out. But if there's one thing I've learned in addiction recovery, it is that I cannot help others if I'm not helping myself.

Back in my drinking days, I remember thinking whiskey would help me feel better when I was sick. I'm pretty sure I'd seen that in a movie - romanticised drinking! But it never worked because it just woke up the beast within me.

That first sip nearly always set off a craving for more. Not just when I was sick but every time I drank. It was like a dragon was sleeping inside of me. I imagine the first sips of drink slipping through the cracks in a cave, dripping onto its head and waking it from its slumber.

It might be the fever talking but I can vividly picture the beast within stirring from its snooze and switching on my senses, cranking up the cravings until I caved and cried for more alcohol.

The need to drink is driven by the alcohol-fuelled beast within.

Of course, as I've outlined previously, this metaphorical monster is the manifestation of past traumas and pain and alcohol is the fuel that fires up the beast’s best blocking manoeuvres as it tries to shield you from further hurt.

Sadly, it doesn't work like that.

By drinking more, you cause yourself more pain. You awaken the beast inside you with your boozing which then stops you from getting to the root cause of why you're drinking so much in the first place.

This self-created monster has placed barriers around your inner wounds and is using alcohol to stop the pain from being reached and dealt with healthily. The pain deep inside, the reason you use alcohol as a coping mechanism, is getting worse the more booze blocks it from being treated.

It's that vicious cycle of treating pain with alcohol but feeling more pain because of it.

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As I try to fight through this fever and write for you now, I think of the number of times I woke the beast within because I wanted to soothe my pain with alcohol. I think of times I drank when I was scared, sad and lonely, only to feel more scared, sad and lonely after drinking. I was never solving my issues because alcohol was stopping me from getting to them.

Many people try to treat their wounds with external distractions. The world is sadly swamped with people addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, weed, pills, porn, gambling, social media and much more. It doesn’t need to be like this.

I might not be able to treat my fever with internal work but when it comes to addiction, I believe it’s the best thing for people to do. Get sober then put in the work to find out what caused you to act out in your addiction.

While I’m not saying it will specifically help you with that, I also run a well-received Telegram Channel aimed at providing addiction, recovery and fatherhood quotes, tips, inspiration and motivation aimed at dads in early/long-term recovery from alcohol addiction. This is hopefully another resource you can utilise on your recovery journey as you look to stay sober, prosper in recovery and become a better dad.

Also, if you’re looking for some extra encouragement, tips and advice for not drinking over the holiday season, then please check out the latest affathers.com post.

Thank you for reading “Fighting Fever and Battling the Beast” and thank you to

Next 50 Years

for the kind message.

I'm off to bed now for some more rest.

If anything in this newsletter resonated with you, then I’d love to hear from you:

Check out the last free post “The Fad Man: The Personification of Addiction and Pain”.

Take care of yourself and your family,

Roscoe | @AFFathers

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