Parenting, Stress and Popeye's Spinach

AFF Newsletter Premium #2

Welcome to the AFF Newsletter on Substack - premium edition!

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Anyway, on with the article.

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Photo by Robert Mathews on Unsplash

Alcohol will just make it worse

As a dad in recovery, it is obviously so important that I don’t pick up a drink again. I know this goes without saying, but it’s not just imperative for me that I stay off the booze but also for my son.

The thing is, I’ve known dads in the past who have let one bad day ruin their sobriety and destroy their home lives in worryingly quick succession.

We can debate whether or not their recovery was solid but the fact remains that alcohol - for ‘alcoholics’ - and parenting is a horrendous mix. The devastation that booze has had on the family unit is evident all over the world.

Some days aren't always going to go your way. You have to accept that. Things might go against you. You might experience some setbacks.

You might fall just short of goals. You might miss them by miles.

You might not click with your children that day. They might tell you that they hate you. You might have a huge argument with your spouse.

But picking up a drink is never the answer.

As fathers, we need to be strong for our children. The problem is that alcohol leaves us weak.

I used to think the opposite. I used booze like Popeye used spinach. I thought I could overcome anything with some rum running through my veins.

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When I had a day that was going against me, I’d take a shot of the heavenly poison and everything would be ok… Until it wasn’t! And that’s the point, alcohol might give you some temporary relief but you'll end up drinking whenever you suffer an inconvenience or whenever you think the world is conspiring against you.

And then you’ll most likely be hooked once again, battling the boozy beast to get your sobriety back.

Being a dad is stressful enough without alcohol making it harder.

Sinking shots and changing nappies is a disastrous combination. Downing vodka and helping with homework is not something I’d recommend. Knocking back beers and driving to sports practice could kill you and them. You see what I’m getting at here.

Spiralling out of control because you’re having a bad day and turning to alcohol to solve it is not the answer. I speak from experience.

I spent many years prior to being a father going down that exact same route and it got me nowhere. I hit a brick wall every time. So now trying to overcome the stresses of being a parent with alcohol would never work.

I will share an example with you now of a time when I used alcohol to try to suppress the stress of my day, where it led me and what I’d do now with some sobriety behind me.