Similarities, Not Differences

AFF Newsletter Premium #4

Welcome to the AFF Newsletter on Substack - premium edition!

When I write about recovery I like to share my personal experience with addiction. If you’re reading the AFF Newsletter and still drinking heavily, I hope that you look out for the similarities in your own drinking life and don’t focus on the differences.

I try to share the feelings that alcohol gave me, the ups and downs, the different emotional states I experienced and the situations I found myself in. They might not be the same as yours but there will no doubt be some things that resonate.

Newcomers to AA are encouraged to listen for the ‘similarities and not the differences’. I heard this statement at the beginning of nearly every meeting. It stuck with me when listening to people’s shares and gave me hope that there was a solution.

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I’m grateful that my writing has been able to help people, whether that’s through AFF or Birth of Clarity. My aim has always been to share my story as best I can, portraying the rollercoaster journey I allowed alcohol to take me on.

The AFF Newsletter is aimed at fathers looking to get sober, stay sober and become better dads. However, many women read this newsletter too. This takes us back to the theme of this post - listen to the similarities and not the differences.

This proves that alcohol doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care who you are. It will grab you and temporarily lift you. It will grip onto you and drag you down. It’ll ease your pain. It’ll make it worse. It will do it all.

But one thing it won’t do is give you any restbite if you don’t take action to give it up once it has taken control. You need to fight for sobriety, it won’t just come to you. You need to work for it. You need to go to war to beat your alcohol addiction.

I can write all day long about my battles with booze. I can talk all day about it too. Not from a place of obsession but from a place of wanting to help. I experienced it and I want people to avoid going through what I did. So if I can help, I will try.

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Today I want to share with you a story of a good friend who recently came to me and said he was struggling with his alcohol addiction. Knowing about continued sobriety, he asked for some advice. Below are some of the things I said to him. Let’s dive in!