Children Are Like Sponges

AFF Newsletter on Substack #22

Welcome to the AFF Newsletter on Substack.

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Zachary Kadolph on Unsplash

Children Are Like Sponges

As fellow Dads, you should know that you have to be very careful how you act and what you say around your kids.

Kids are like sponges who soak up everything.

They are always watching.

They are impressionable.

And they are always looking to you for leadership, guidance, support and advice, whether they portray it that way or not.

You may not even realise it but they are always paying attention – to what you’re saying to others, how you’re acting, or even the way you’re reacting to things.

They are soaking up more than you think.

• They hear every huff & foul word

• They see every eye roll & angry face

I’ve been guilty of huffing and puffing around my son and even the occasional eye-roll but it wasn’t until I noticed my son huffing and puffing back at me that I realised how much he is watching and mimicking.

https://twitter.com/limitlessleila/status/1443572242403807232?s=20

Are you careful about how you’re acting around your kids?

Are you careful how you’re acting around other people’s kids?

As I’ve mentioned though, it’s not just about your actions – it’s your words and your reactions.

If you always react to a setback or annoying situation by losing your cool then it stands to reason that your kids are going to react in the same manner.

I’ve seen it with my mate’s kids.

Their children will react to a negative situation in the exact same way I just witnessed my mate react – an absolute carbon copy.

The same with bad language, or at least, the suggestion of bad language.

Too many children know the phrase; “son of a….” thankfully, without knowing the final word.

This may not have anything to do with you, it could well be from a film or a TV show, but again, this is within your control!

So, what can you do to avoid them picking up your bad habits, etc?

• Talk politely about others

• Don’t swear/limit bad words

• Don’t huff and puff

• Be kind

• Don’t lose your cool with external situations

• Don’t lose your cool with your kids

• Watch your body language

• Don’t place your external stresses on them

• Don’t worry them with your worries

• Remember; calm is king

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Let them soak up some positivity

The best thing we can do as Dads is to expose them to more positive actions and behavioural traits at an early age, and even as they grow up.

Here are a few positive things you can do together:

• Do some good deeds for others

• Volunteer together

• Sit and read together

• Explain the principles of good manners

• Discuss the topic of respecting others

• Talk about your feelings together

• Look into your family history

• Let them experience some culture

• Teach them some business skills

• Take them to historical places

• Introduce a second language

By getting them started early with the examples above, it’s more likely to sink in and become a significant part of their lives.

Consciously and subconsciously.

https://twitter.com/fathersreforged/status/1443896319924477954?s=20

It’s so important for their development that they’re experiencing positive things, as well as growing up in a positive environment, at an age where they are more likely to absorb them.

Our children don’t need to be worried about our stresses. They don’t need to hear us talking negatively about others. They don’t need to see us reacting to a minor situation with overblown dramatics and foul language. They don’t need to hear us huffing and puffing. They don’t need to be overexposed to devices and screens.

Don’t let your actions, reactions and words hold you back in your fatherhood journey.

Be careful how you act, react and the words you use around your kids – they need to feel secure, protected and encouraged to learn and grow…

And it’s hard for them to do that if they are subjected to negative body language, words and behaviours from you.

Do you agree?

I hope you enjoyed this edition of the AFF Newsletter on Substack.

Take care of yourself and your family,

AFF