Fatherhood: Sun, Sea and Chaos
AFF Newsletter on Substack #37
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Fatherhood: Sun, Sea and Chaos
I love being a dad. It’s incredibly rewarding. Yes, it's hard work at times - a controversial statement in the world of fake social media gurus - and yes, I sometimes make it harder work than it needs to be, but my son means the world to me.
I enjoy spending time with him. He’s at an age now where we can interact with each other on a deeper level. We talk about the most wonderful things. He might not understand everything but he’s asking questions. He’s inquisitive and has an amazing imagination.
He’s been asking a lot of questions recently, from whether we’re inside a computer program to the existence of heaven. But when we’re not discussing the meaning of life, he’s keeping me up-to-date with his Lego character’s adventures.
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As I’ve said on multiple occasions - and will continue to say - I have my sobriety to thank for all of this. If I wasn’t sober none of this would be possible. The laughs, the fun, the adventures and the memories we’re creating are because I’m in recovery.
Being a sober dad has allowed me to experience all the joys of parenting without the embarrassing drunken moments, the alcohol-induced memory loss and the hangovers. It has allowed me the opportunity to experience the highs and lows of sober parenting.
I get to be a part of my son’s life without alcohol fuelling me. I'm watching him grow up into a polite, funny and clever boy. I don't know where he gets it from! I'm already extremely proud of him and I know he's got so much more to show the world.
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Playing goalie
As I sat down to write today a funny little story popped into my head and I thought I’d share it with you. It was from when my son was around a year and a half years old and it still makes me laugh to this day.
My wife and I had decided to take a holiday to sunny Spain. We were staying in this lovely little place on the south coast that had the most wonderful beach within walking distance from our Airbnb.
We’d taken our son there on a few occasions at the start of our trip because it came highly recommended. However, it became apparent early on that, although going to the beach was awesome, having to play goalie every second to stop our son from running in the sea was exhausting.
If you've seen the Disney film Moana, which I'm sure most of you with small kids have, then you can imagine my son running into the sea every chance he got. I mean, take Moana and times it by 1000. The more we stopped in from running into the sea, the more he thought it was a game.
We tried multiple distraction techniques; building sand castles, digging big holes, burying his dad in the sand and most importantly, we took him in the water with us, as much as possible. But trying to explain to him that he couldn’t run into the sea alone just didn't sink in - pun intended!
Now he’s older and understands the dangers of the water, he loves swimming in the sea. He’s an absolute fish! But back then you couldn’t reason with him - you can’t reason with any toddlers!
But as the holiday was drawing to a close we decided that we would take him to the beach one last time.
Nothing a bag of rice won’t fix
On the last day, we visited a big city to do some gift shopping and thought it might be nice to visit the beach while we were there. It had been a busy day but we wanted one last sandy experience with our son. So as my wife carried him and the towels, I dragged the buggy full of little presents across the sand, down towards the sea and found what appeared to be the only remaining space. It was rammed!
She wanted to go take him in the water first so I began to set up camp. She put him down and turned towards me to give me her phone, which I put in my pocket for safekeeping. She placed the towels on top of the pram as she readied herself for the swim but before she could pick our son up, he was off!
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He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. I remember him being so quick! He still is now. By the time I knew what was going on, he wasn’t far off from the water. I sprang into action and gave chase.
Thankfully, I managed to catch him just as his feet hit the water, however, unfortunately for me, there was a dip in the sand which I caught my left foot on, sending me flying through the air with my son now in my arms.
What had been a heroic Baywatch-esque rescue nearly ended with me drowning my son. Fortunately, I managed to flip my body over before I landed on him. People on the beach stopped to watch me as I emerged from the water, holding my son above my head like I was presenting him to them.
It was chaos. Not only was I fully clothed, without a spare set, but I also broke my big left toe and sprained my ankle. Oh, and to top it off, I had both mine and my wife's phones in my pockets!
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Take care of yourself and your family,
AFF
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