Thank you for this. I've never considered my drinking in these terms and every time I even think about drinking, I suspect I will ask myself something like "do you want to expose yourself to a demon, or even worse... the devil?" This is going to be very helpful
Thank you for reading. I'm glad it opened your eyes to a different perspective with regard to drinking. I let the devil in too many times - something I wouldn't recommend for anyone!
Now that you are sober for a good amount of time do you sense any demonic presence? Has sobriety cleared the way for a darker side of you to emerge safely? I have found that alcohol not only released the demon that was within, but that once drinking ceased, it was reckoning time.
Yes, with alcohol removed, my darker side was given a safer path to be explored without fear that it would be added to with booze. It's still a work in progress but the demonic presence feels less, although I have to be careful that it doesn't shift into other forms (food, energy drinks, self-loathing, self-sabotage, etc).
You've described my husband when he drinks... I could have just said you've described my husband.
Especially the vacant eyes. I can tell within a few seconds exactly when he will be in a blackout when one eye loses focus. Within the following minute, he'll be in a rage, and both eyes look like those of a dead man. The eyes alone are frightening enough, without the rage and yelling about nothing that makes sense.
He never mentions it the next day, the blackouts. If I mention it, he claims he doesn't get blackout drunk; he says he gets blackout angry (as if that's better) and that I shouldn't make him mad like that.
I don't think he has a clue about as much as a quarter of what he's said and done when he's like that.
Thank you for sharing this. I appreciate hearing it from the alcoholic's side.
I wish I could agree with you about me being strong. I've had to set a boundary for my safety. I won't have him around me drinking or drunk. He starts drinking in the morning, every morning. I changed the locks. He's decided he'd rather move across the entire state of Texas than even try to stop drinking.
It’s nice to be reminded of the demons that would possess me with drink.
I couldn’t help think of the expression ‘What’s in when you’re sober comes out when you’re drunk’. But honestly sometimes it felt like it wasn’t within but like you said, I was possessed.
Thank you for this. I've never considered my drinking in these terms and every time I even think about drinking, I suspect I will ask myself something like "do you want to expose yourself to a demon, or even worse... the devil?" This is going to be very helpful
Thank you for reading. I'm glad it opened your eyes to a different perspective with regard to drinking. I let the devil in too many times - something I wouldn't recommend for anyone!
Now that you are sober for a good amount of time do you sense any demonic presence? Has sobriety cleared the way for a darker side of you to emerge safely? I have found that alcohol not only released the demon that was within, but that once drinking ceased, it was reckoning time.
Love this imagery.
Yes, with alcohol removed, my darker side was given a safer path to be explored without fear that it would be added to with booze. It's still a work in progress but the demonic presence feels less, although I have to be careful that it doesn't shift into other forms (food, energy drinks, self-loathing, self-sabotage, etc).
You've described my husband when he drinks... I could have just said you've described my husband.
Especially the vacant eyes. I can tell within a few seconds exactly when he will be in a blackout when one eye loses focus. Within the following minute, he'll be in a rage, and both eyes look like those of a dead man. The eyes alone are frightening enough, without the rage and yelling about nothing that makes sense.
He never mentions it the next day, the blackouts. If I mention it, he claims he doesn't get blackout drunk; he says he gets blackout angry (as if that's better) and that I shouldn't make him mad like that.
I don't think he has a clue about as much as a quarter of what he's said and done when he's like that.
Thank you for sharing this. I appreciate hearing it from the alcoholic's side.
It's scary. I've heard some of my things I used to do from my wife and it didn't sound like me. She said I was a completely different person. Madness.
Blackout angry definitely does sound worse and I can imagine the rage and yelling isn't nice.
You're doing amazing and the fact that you're trying to help him through this is awesome. A testament to your own strength :)
Thank you for reading and commenting.
I wish I could agree with you about me being strong. I've had to set a boundary for my safety. I won't have him around me drinking or drunk. He starts drinking in the morning, every morning. I changed the locks. He's decided he'd rather move across the entire state of Texas than even try to stop drinking.
I'm glad to hear you're keeping yourself safe with the boundaries you've set.
I'm sorry that it has come to this. I hope he gets the help he needs.
Look after yourself. You're doing the best you can to help him so hopefully he'll realise that he needs to help himself.
I hope so, too.
🤞
Does this sound familiar? Yes.
Is this how/or did behave? Yes.
Do/did you become angry and violent? Yes.
Do/did you become unfaithful? Yes.
Do/did you become filled with rage? Yes.
Do/did you become filled with lust? Yes.
It’s nice to be reminded of the demons that would possess me with drink.
I couldn’t help think of the expression ‘What’s in when you’re sober comes out when you’re drunk’. But honestly sometimes it felt like it wasn’t within but like you said, I was possessed.