Excellent post. You've done a fantastic job of capturing the life history of addiction to alcohol. As an Alcohol and Drug Counselor I commend you for your courage and willingness to post your story. I'm sure it will encourage many hurting alcoholics and addicts to pursue the journey of recovery. Bless you!
Hey Lois, thank you for reading it and commenting. You're kind words have made my day.
My goal has always been to be as raw and honest as possible so I can help dads get sober, stay and prosper as a sober dad. Hopefully I'm doing that.
I would love to become an addiction counsellor too but studying has never been my strong suit! I like writing and sharing by battles with addiction and triumphs in recovery but learning new things doesn't come naturally. Ha!!
I hope you have a wonderful day and continue to help people as a counsellor :)
We counselors depend upon people like yourself who are "working in the trenches" so we can do our work. You play a very vital part in the recovery process. We can't do our work effectively without your support. :)
I've added your substack to my "Recommendations" list. God bless you for the work you do.
Good essay Roscoe. Don’t sweat the external metrics. You’re helping people. Readership waxes and wanes…there’s no reason for it. Sometimes people are just too busy and a headline doesn’t jump out at them from the 100,000 emails they already get. Stay the course.
Addiction strikes us all, if we go down the road ... i have been addicted to most things over the years ... tobacco is the hardest for me - but i've beat so many things and it has all been down to understanding why i wanted to be drunk/stoned/laid/ etc etc ... i worked on it and stopped being depressed and the addictions slipped away - apart from tobacco! We can all get there (Apart from me n tobacco! https://open.substack.com/pub/leighgbanks/p/perverts-and-demons-why-i-was-drinking?r=drr6n&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
I really get a lot out of your posts. I was sober for nine and a half months. I relapsed a couple of months ago. Now I'm drinking like before. And, I can't stop. My childhood was traumatic. I've struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life. I'm lonely. I have no one to talk to. It's just the gray routine day after day after day. So, that's why I drink, just to numb out of a situation I can't seem to change.
The recovery process isn't straight forward but the fact that you had a good amount of time sober is awesome and means that YOU CAN DO IT.
Now, it's about taking it one day at a time (as the cliche goes) and racking up those wins.
YOU CAN CHANGE this situation you're in because you've done it before.
I know firsthand how lonely life can be but booze will not help eliminate that feeling. Only action. Can you go an AA meeting? Even if it's not your thing, at least you'll be around people.
Can you meet up with some friends for coffee? Can you talk to a loved one on the phone?
Don't let alcohol isolate you from the world.
You're a talented writer and it's great that you're passionate about it, but PLEASE look after yourself. You can get yourself out of this slump.
Sometimes sobriety can feel like you're stuck still just without the alcohol but it can be SO MUCH MORE, if you work at your recovery.
I see Leigh has been messaging you so will catch up on the thread shortly. I just wanted to add this now while it was in my head.
Thank you Roscoe. I will consider AA. It would be nice to be around people. Thank you for complimenting my writing. Here's the problems: I have loved ones left. No real friends either. No partner for reasons I can't understand. Single for two years now. And, I don't work, so that's another source of isolation. And, I'm turbo introverted. I thought the NA people were my friends until they all vanished. So, I have to be honest. Since, I really have nothing to lose, it's hard to find a reason not to drink. I'm not looking for pity, but until I found Substack, I had even less. I just feel that every door I knock on is slammed in my face over and over. I don't believe in curses. But, I am starting to.
Dude. Keep writing and go easy on yourself. Sobriety finds you not when you need it but rather when you want it. You’ll get sick and tired at some point. 🙏
I think that's good advice. I haven't had a drink in two days. I find that when I beat myself up for wanting a drink (or drinking) it makes me want to drink even more. So, while I don't know if I'm done, I appreciate all your support. And, I do enjoy writing.
It's a bad situation to be in ... but if you've done it once, you can do it again ... it's a pyschological switch that needs flicking the other way ... Do you drink a lot? Or is it you just don't want to be doing it ...
I was doing really well for a while. Then a bunch of life shit happened. After 9 months, it seemed that nothing about my life had really changed. I was just sober. I was still alone. I was still depressed. My still seemed pointless. So I picked up. And, now I can't stop. I almost drank myself to death last year around this time. And, it's happening again. I need to be hospitalized but I just don't want to go. I just don't really see the point anymore.
i get you ... when a major part of your life changes but nothing else does, then all the stresses and excuses are left there for you ... as part of my job we had to travel, loved it ... then, unexpectedly, we had to come home to the UK and i'd stopped drinking. Only that and location changed, nothing else. I didn't start drinking again - but i could have done. I just looked to the future, when thingsWILL change, and asked myself if i wanted to face it sober or drunk. Sober came up .., don't be afraid of being alone mate, you can do all your thinking then .... if you need medical help, get it., why die because of booze and a messed-up head?
Thank you for being kind. I do too much thinking and now I have writer's block to boot and it's scaring the shit out of me. I'm so tired of being alone. The only thing keeping me alive are my animals.
Thank you for being so honest about where you are at, but focus on where you’ve been. You’ve been sober before and you can do it again, that is still in you! I’ve gone through that same cycle too and it is very difficult to deal with alone. Please take the step to reach out to others and it will help deal with the loneliness you are feeling. Talking to others is one of the greatest ways to know that you are not the only one and it will help you move to a better mental place and improve your life & health. Don’t let addiction take more of you than it already has in the past, know your best days will be ahead by just taking one small step today. We are here for you.
Excellent post. You've done a fantastic job of capturing the life history of addiction to alcohol. As an Alcohol and Drug Counselor I commend you for your courage and willingness to post your story. I'm sure it will encourage many hurting alcoholics and addicts to pursue the journey of recovery. Bless you!
Hey Lois, thank you for reading it and commenting. You're kind words have made my day.
My goal has always been to be as raw and honest as possible so I can help dads get sober, stay and prosper as a sober dad. Hopefully I'm doing that.
I would love to become an addiction counsellor too but studying has never been my strong suit! I like writing and sharing by battles with addiction and triumphs in recovery but learning new things doesn't come naturally. Ha!!
I hope you have a wonderful day and continue to help people as a counsellor :)
We counselors depend upon people like yourself who are "working in the trenches" so we can do our work. You play a very vital part in the recovery process. We can't do our work effectively without your support. :)
I've added your substack to my "Recommendations" list. God bless you for the work you do.
You're too kind, thank you.
I'm glad I can be of service and thank you for all that you do :)
Good essay Roscoe. Don’t sweat the external metrics. You’re helping people. Readership waxes and wanes…there’s no reason for it. Sometimes people are just too busy and a headline doesn’t jump out at them from the 100,000 emails they already get. Stay the course.
Appreciate you Dee.
'Staying the course' is something I have to keep reminding myself.
Thank you for the nudge!
Addiction strikes us all, if we go down the road ... i have been addicted to most things over the years ... tobacco is the hardest for me - but i've beat so many things and it has all been down to understanding why i wanted to be drunk/stoned/laid/ etc etc ... i worked on it and stopped being depressed and the addictions slipped away - apart from tobacco! We can all get there (Apart from me n tobacco! https://open.substack.com/pub/leighgbanks/p/perverts-and-demons-why-i-was-drinking?r=drr6n&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
I really get a lot out of your posts. I was sober for nine and a half months. I relapsed a couple of months ago. Now I'm drinking like before. And, I can't stop. My childhood was traumatic. I've struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life. I'm lonely. I have no one to talk to. It's just the gray routine day after day after day. So, that's why I drink, just to numb out of a situation I can't seem to change.
The recovery process isn't straight forward but the fact that you had a good amount of time sober is awesome and means that YOU CAN DO IT.
Now, it's about taking it one day at a time (as the cliche goes) and racking up those wins.
YOU CAN CHANGE this situation you're in because you've done it before.
I know firsthand how lonely life can be but booze will not help eliminate that feeling. Only action. Can you go an AA meeting? Even if it's not your thing, at least you'll be around people.
Can you meet up with some friends for coffee? Can you talk to a loved one on the phone?
Don't let alcohol isolate you from the world.
You're a talented writer and it's great that you're passionate about it, but PLEASE look after yourself. You can get yourself out of this slump.
Sometimes sobriety can feel like you're stuck still just without the alcohol but it can be SO MUCH MORE, if you work at your recovery.
I see Leigh has been messaging you so will catch up on the thread shortly. I just wanted to add this now while it was in my head.
Thank you Roscoe. I will consider AA. It would be nice to be around people. Thank you for complimenting my writing. Here's the problems: I have loved ones left. No real friends either. No partner for reasons I can't understand. Single for two years now. And, I don't work, so that's another source of isolation. And, I'm turbo introverted. I thought the NA people were my friends until they all vanished. So, I have to be honest. Since, I really have nothing to lose, it's hard to find a reason not to drink. I'm not looking for pity, but until I found Substack, I had even less. I just feel that every door I knock on is slammed in my face over and over. I don't believe in curses. But, I am starting to.
Dude. Keep writing and go easy on yourself. Sobriety finds you not when you need it but rather when you want it. You’ll get sick and tired at some point. 🙏
I think that's good advice. I haven't had a drink in two days. I find that when I beat myself up for wanting a drink (or drinking) it makes me want to drink even more. So, while I don't know if I'm done, I appreciate all your support. And, I do enjoy writing.
It's a bad situation to be in ... but if you've done it once, you can do it again ... it's a pyschological switch that needs flicking the other way ... Do you drink a lot? Or is it you just don't want to be doing it ...
I was doing really well for a while. Then a bunch of life shit happened. After 9 months, it seemed that nothing about my life had really changed. I was just sober. I was still alone. I was still depressed. My still seemed pointless. So I picked up. And, now I can't stop. I almost drank myself to death last year around this time. And, it's happening again. I need to be hospitalized but I just don't want to go. I just don't really see the point anymore.
i get you ... when a major part of your life changes but nothing else does, then all the stresses and excuses are left there for you ... as part of my job we had to travel, loved it ... then, unexpectedly, we had to come home to the UK and i'd stopped drinking. Only that and location changed, nothing else. I didn't start drinking again - but i could have done. I just looked to the future, when thingsWILL change, and asked myself if i wanted to face it sober or drunk. Sober came up .., don't be afraid of being alone mate, you can do all your thinking then .... if you need medical help, get it., why die because of booze and a messed-up head?
https://open.substack.com/pub/leighgbanks/p/perverts-and-demons-why-i-was-drinking?r=drr6n&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Thank you for being kind. I do too much thinking and now I have writer's block to boot and it's scaring the shit out of me. I'm so tired of being alone. The only thing keeping me alive are my animals.
Thank you for being so honest about where you are at, but focus on where you’ve been. You’ve been sober before and you can do it again, that is still in you! I’ve gone through that same cycle too and it is very difficult to deal with alone. Please take the step to reach out to others and it will help deal with the loneliness you are feeling. Talking to others is one of the greatest ways to know that you are not the only one and it will help you move to a better mental place and improve your life & health. Don’t let addiction take more of you than it already has in the past, know your best days will be ahead by just taking one small step today. We are here for you.
Thank you.