Well done Roscoe on going to an event where alcohol is flowing but having fun without it.
I've always despised the "how do you have fun?" mindset from people. It's so ingrained in our culture that some use their favourite alcoholic drink as an extension of their personality.
I have friends who I get on with so well but don't make much effort to catchup up with because I can't bear the looks and feeling I have to justify myself when I order a diet coke!
Hey, sober mom here, appreciating the male perspective! 👋 I often struggle with the addiction to toxic people, places, and things—it's tough to shake off that "dry drunk" feeling. Fun is subjective, whether you're sober or not. What brings one person joy might be a total buzzkill for someone else.
These days, it's easier for people to understand the choice not to drink, especially with the growing focus on physical and mental health. Some even find it admirable. I usually add, "I have many other vices," to keep things humble and relatable.
Hey Audra, thank you for your comment. It’s awesome to have sober mum reading my newsletter :)
Oh, that “dry drunk” feeling is brutal. Your comment is so relatable because I often question if I have/or currently am experiencing something like that in certain situations.
Even in the absence of substances or other distractions, our brain can hyperfixate on whatever is desirable.
A try to apply a longer reaction time between the impulsive thought and desired action.
I allow myself (in thinking through the scenario) escapism, albeit in a brief moderated fantasy. Then jump to the worse case scenario to conclude if it's worth the impulsive risk. It usually never is, but there are varying degrees to the nature of our addicted brains. Fighting sugar addiction for example is something that is harder for me to conquer than drugs or alcohol. But the compulsion behind the masochistic, or negligent behavior driving the impulsive, remains the same.
The self-sabotage is so real. What I thought was just making me “fun” and taking the edge off was undermining me constantly. This is further confirmed by my wife routinely commenting that she likes this me SO much better. Ironic what you learn along the way…
It’s great to have that confirmation and support from those we love because whether we like it or not, they’re normally deeply affected by our self-sabotaging ways.
Well done Roscoe on going to an event where alcohol is flowing but having fun without it.
I've always despised the "how do you have fun?" mindset from people. It's so ingrained in our culture that some use their favourite alcoholic drink as an extension of their personality.
I have friends who I get on with so well but don't make much effort to catchup up with because I can't bear the looks and feeling I have to justify myself when I order a diet coke!
Hey, sober mom here, appreciating the male perspective! 👋 I often struggle with the addiction to toxic people, places, and things—it's tough to shake off that "dry drunk" feeling. Fun is subjective, whether you're sober or not. What brings one person joy might be a total buzzkill for someone else.
These days, it's easier for people to understand the choice not to drink, especially with the growing focus on physical and mental health. Some even find it admirable. I usually add, "I have many other vices," to keep things humble and relatable.
Hey Audra, thank you for your comment. It’s awesome to have sober mum reading my newsletter :)
Oh, that “dry drunk” feeling is brutal. Your comment is so relatable because I often question if I have/or currently am experiencing something like that in certain situations.
Wishing you a wonderful day and super sobriety.
Even in the absence of substances or other distractions, our brain can hyperfixate on whatever is desirable.
A try to apply a longer reaction time between the impulsive thought and desired action.
I allow myself (in thinking through the scenario) escapism, albeit in a brief moderated fantasy. Then jump to the worse case scenario to conclude if it's worth the impulsive risk. It usually never is, but there are varying degrees to the nature of our addicted brains. Fighting sugar addiction for example is something that is harder for me to conquer than drugs or alcohol. But the compulsion behind the masochistic, or negligent behavior driving the impulsive, remains the same.
The self-sabotage is so real. What I thought was just making me “fun” and taking the edge off was undermining me constantly. This is further confirmed by my wife routinely commenting that she likes this me SO much better. Ironic what you learn along the way…
It’s great to have that confirmation and support from those we love because whether we like it or not, they’re normally deeply affected by our self-sabotaging ways.