The Promise Of Freedom Isn't Always Kept
AFF Newsletter on Substack #48
Welcome to the AFF Newsletter on Substack.
Alcohol gives the illusion that it is freeing yet secretly it is chaining itself to you. You might not realise it at first because you’ve never really had reason to but it is not until you try to cut the chains off that you find out it’s more difficult than you thought.
It was recommended - thanks
- that I read a post from fellow Substacker (not sure if that’s what we call ourselves), which sums up my opening paragraph perfectly.It’s not that Kaitlyn found it hard to stop drinking but she recognised that “drinking was a restrictor.” I’ve said this before. Alcohol promises freedom but provides the opposite.
Booze can blind you from the truth. It can hide you from the fact that you’ve become dependent on it for a lot of “situations” in your life. Ask yourself a few simple questions and you might see a pattern.
“When was the last time I had a night out where alcohol wasn’t involved?” “When did I last have dinner without a glass of wine?” “When did it become normal to have a hangover every Saturday or Sunday morning?”
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Sooner or later, much like Kaitlyn, you will start to notice that alcohol has become a regular in your life. You might not consciously know it yet but this realisation raises the question of how you react next.
You can take the path that Kaitlyn walks - powering past unexpected bumps along the way - knowing that sobriety is the best route. Or you can ignore the signs and continue down this (long or short) road which could potentially lead you to the edge of a cliff.
I tried on multiple occasions to go the route of sobriety but I could never break free from the death grip alcohol had on me. The harder I tried to shake it off, alcohol just found other ways to tighten its hold on me.
I don’t think I ever experienced true freedom until I got sober.
After trying - and failing - to get sober on my own, it was in a church basement that I found my first sense of peace and the first chink in the armour of alcohol. I was later given a sword to fatally wound the liquid poison that had taken my freedom from me.
When I attended my first AA meeting and was surrounded by people who understood what I was going through, I knew that I wasn't alone anymore. It was such a relief. I wasn't unique in my drinking, alcohol wasn’t singling me out. It was after other people too.
Alcohol doesn’t discriminate. Whether you’re just having a few drinks a week or you’re downing a bottle of vodka a day, when it has got its claws in you, you might find it hard to fight off. Remember, each person’s “rock bottom” is different.
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I once knew a woman in recovery who only drank with her lunch and dinner. She had been doing this for 40 years. She was sick and tired of this routine so she sought out help. Her drinking might sound tame to you but she had reached her “rock bottom”.
She described the feeling of helplessness in the same way a “park bence drunk” would. Just because she hadn’t blown up her life with booze didn’t mean that it hadn’t caused her some suffering.
The internal pain she talked about was relatable even if her actual drinking was a lot different than most of the people in recovery. For me, I understood the inner turmoil drinking had caused her because it had done the same to me.
Of course, as I’ve spoken about previously, alcohol is merely the symptom of an underlying issue as to why you choose to self-medicate and until you work on identifying the root cause of your drinking and your triggers, you will continue to act out with alcohol or other substances.
However, until you get sober and begin this work, you are stuck at the painful crossroads where many have found themselves. Do you choose the path of sobriety or the road laced with booze? Knowing what I know now, and experiencing what I've experienced, I know which direction I would go.
If you're unsure, ask yourself this question; do I drink too much? Alcohol will lie to you. It doesn't want you to know real freedom because the wounded part of you needs it to ease its pain. But it's not real - the feeling booze gives you, not the pain.
Drinking is not helping you treat your pain, it is masking it and ultimately, it is making it worse. Whether you're a social drinker or blackout drunk, is alcohol helping you in your life? Your answer will most likely be no.
Don't be fooled by the promises of fun, freedom or a release from your suffering because alcohol will not keep up its end of the bargain for long. You might get a temporary escape each time you drink but sadly, it's just that; temporary.
Much like the lady in AA, your alcohol use, however mild, will eventually catch up to you and you might end up regretting not choosing the path of sobriety sooner.
Thank you for reading “The Promise Of Freedom Isn't Always Kept”. If anything in this newsletter resonated with you, then I’d love to hear from you:
Check out the last premium post “A Letter to My Son”.
Take care of yourself and your family,
Roscoe | @AFFathers
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I appreciate the anecdote about the woman in your meeting. I see so much of that-- “but, I’m not doing X, so it can’t be that bad.” As you say, alcohol will lie. And it distracts us from the more important questions. 🙏🏼
Thank you again for sharing my story 💕