Having the Tools to Use when Needed

Developing the tools to overcome hardships

Jul 12, 2023

red and blue arrow sign surrounded by brown trees — Photo by Susan Q Yin on Unsplash

Sometimes life can be difficult.

It is full of ups and downs.

But over time you will develop the tools to overcome hardships and flourish in the good times.

The problem is that you allow external forces to distract you from fully utilising the things you’ve learned.

You allow your mind to run the show. You get in your own head and stop yourself from choosing the positive path.

You know what to do in certain scenarios, yet you don’t do them.

You know that getting drunk the night before a job interview isn’t a good idea, yet you do it anyway.
You know that spending hours watching porn is not going to help you achieve your goals for the day, yet you do it anyway.
You know that you have to get a good night’s sleep before a busy day, yet you spend your time scrolling Instagram reels into the early hours of the morning.
You know that spending quality time with your children is so important, yet you spend your time eating junk food in front of the TV.

Ultimately, you know that what you are doing isn’t the right thing to do but you don’t know how to utilise the tools you have in order to stop.

If you haven’t acquired the tools, it’s because you don’t view what you’re doing as being wrong.

I’m not here to judge. My point is that most of us have the tools, yet for whatever reason, we decide not to pick them up and use them.

Refer a friend

a man in the dark covering his face with his hands — Photo by Marvin Zi on Unsplash

Why is that?

Well, most things can be boiled down to fear.

There is something comforting about sticking with the things we know because it can be scary doing things that go against them.

For years I knew my drinking was bad. I knew it was counterproductive. I knew it wasn’t the way I wanted to live.

But I didn’t have the tools to stop.

Thankfully when I was given the tools to quit drinking, I picked them up and used them.

And I continue to pick them up and use them when I need to. My sobriety toolbelt is always within close reach.

But that doesn’t mean I use the tools I’ve learned in other areas of my life.

I’m sure you can say the same thing.

I still find myself in my own head too often and I still find that I get in my own way a lot.

I still find that I am inconsistent in using the things I’ve learned as a means to improve my life and I revert back to my old ways too often.

brown wooden blocks on white surface — Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Solution

If you’re like me and struggle to escape the pitfalls of life - despite apparently having the roadmap to miss them - then I will speak for us.

I feel the solution to our problems lies in being more proactive, living our lives more intentionally and in the application of the tools we have.

If we know we have a particular weakness, whether it be food, alcohol, porn or social media, then we need to tackle them before they get out of control.

We need to address them so that we don’t always need to use our tools.

But we need to be ready with our toolkit if a situation arises and actually use what we’ve learned.

I tackled my alcohol addiction. Yes, it was out of desperation and when I’d hit rock bottom. But I tackled it and was given the tools to keep me sober.

I now need to tackle other issues in the same way, before hitting rock bottom.

Yes, sometimes it takes rock bottom to take action, but it doesn’t need to be like that.

You can get ahead of it. You can tackle it now. You can acquire the tools today.

It has been a long journey for me and I’m still learning from my mistakes, but this message appears to have finally hit home.

I need to be proactive.
I need to be more intentional.
I need to tackle the things holding me back head-on.
I need to draw on the strength from within to get ahead of my defects.
I need to collect things for my toolbelt and actually use them when needed.

Maybe you need to do the same?

I hope this message inspires you.

I hope it helps light a fire within you.

Whether it does or doesn’t, I’d love to hear from you.

Thank you for reading: “Having the Tools to Use when Needed.”

If anything in this article resonated with you or you have any questions, then please leave me a comment:

Roscoe | Alcohol Free Fathers

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