Confronting Alcoholism Before Fatherhood

The struggle of addiction and parenting

Jan 17, 2025

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When I was younger, I never pictured myself becoming a dad. That’s because, if I’m being brutally honest, I was a drunken mess and could hardly take care of myself! The thought of looking after someone else never really crossed my mind. It wasn’t until I got married that I entertained the idea - although that was with some hesitation because of the extent of my drinking.

However, I was over the moon when my wife told me she was pregnant. All hesitations disappeared. I was euphoric… Then, the next nine months happened!

As each month passed, my drinking worsened. The more I worried about becoming a father, the more I drank. I wasn’t necessarily scared about actually being a dad; I was just anxious about my drinking. I thought that if I could limit my alcohol intake, then everything would be fine. And I tried so hard to achieve that before my son was born.

I tried many different ways of limiting my drinking:

Only drinking at weekends.
Only drinking beer.
Only drinking wine.
Only drinking at dinnertime.
Only drinking with friends.
Only drinking at home.
Only drinking pre-made mixer cans.

But it didn’t matter what I tried. I couldn’t drink normally.

When you start trying - and failing - to limit your drinking, you know things have progressed beyond healthy.

So I found myself drinking unhealthily just as I was about to welcome my own flesh and blood into the world - and it didn’t feel great.

When you’re dealing with something seemingly outside of your control, the mental pain and anxiety can become unbearable. With the impending birth of my son, I should have been swimming in happiness, but internally, I was drowning in depression.

I was looking forward to being a dad and I didn’t want alcohol to destroy the magic. But I couldn’t stop drinking. And at that point, I didn’t want to stop drinking. I just wanted to limit it. I couldn’t picture life without alcohol. I wanted to enjoy boozy nights/weekends with my friends. I wanted to enjoy wine with dinner. I wanted to kick back with a beer and watch the footy on TV. I wanted all this while wanting to be an all-action, wonderful dad of the year!

However, it would never have been like that for me if I hadn’t quit alcohol. My drinking would have stifled any happiness I had as a father. It was already consuming my every waking minute. Imagine sharing the time, thoughts and emotions reserved for your child with alcohol! It would have been unfair to my son and it would have driven me crazy.

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When I finally did get sober, I didn’t technically do it for my son. I wish I could say I did, but the truth is, I was close to killing myself. I had allowed my addiction to manifest itself into thoughts of suicide. Thoughts that I nearly acted upon.

Alcohol addiction is a selfish thing. It made me only really think of myself.

That’s why I am so grateful for my sobriety.

Knowing that I was able to quit booze before my son realised I drank is amazing to me. Not just because I’ve managed to overcome everything I’ve outlined above but because my son will never see me drink. He will never see me drunk. He will never see the drunken mess I could be.

Now, some people might say, “Never say never”, but as long as I keep sobriety at the forefront of my mind - or at least, the reasons why I don’t drink - then I have no doubt that I will not drink again. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying that.

I don’t want to drink. I know where alcohol would lead me if I did. Maybe instantly, or maybe not, but eventually my drinking would lead me down a dark path, and I am not willing to go there.

The devil can not tempt me to take a sip of its blood.

Is Alcohol A Conduit For Demons?

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Read full story

Blessed

I’m blessed with the gift of sobriety - something I wish for all parents struggling with addiction.

I was lucky enough to get sober when I did, but I know that some parents are still in active addiction. And I know how brutal that can be. So, if any parents are reading this who recognise that they have a problem and want to get sober, do everything you can to put down the liquid poison.

Try, try and try again.

You owe it to yourself and your children to get sober.

There are so many resources out there. There are so many people who have been through what you’re going through and found a path to recovery.

You can do this.

Whatever stage you are at in your life journey, whether you’re trying to quit alcohol, you’re in recovery, or you’re just looking to become a better dad, I’m rooting for you.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

If there is anything you would like to add about the issues highlighted above, or there was something in this article resonated with you, please leave me a comment: